The story behind it.
“The Only Way I Know” was inspired by the confusing reality of pulling away from the very person you want closest. The narrator understands that her distance can look like rejection, but inside it feels like protection—the response of someone who learned long ago that love carries a cost. She is not blaming her partner or asking them to solve her; she is finally taking ownership of the fear she brings into the relationship. The song explores how old hurt can distort even gentle moments. Peace feels suspicious, affection sounds like goodbye, and hope can feel more dangerous than pain because hope creates something new to lose. Her jokes, silence, walls, and tests are not evidence that she feels too little. They reveal how deeply she feels and how hard she is working to remain present when every instinct tells her to hide. What she asks for is not rescue, but steadiness: sit beside the storm, stay near without forcing the rain to stop, and let trust develop at its own pace. Across the song, “I want to know what safe feels like with you” becomes “I’m finding what feels safe with you,” marking real movement rather than an instant cure. “The Only Way I Know” is ultimately about recognizing that survival taught one form of love—and choosing, slowly and imperfectly, to learn another.
The Only Way I Know
I know it's hard to love someone who keeps their guard up
this will sound cliché… but it's a simple truth
You think it's you, let me own this, It's all me, and only me
There's a part of me that's been hurt too many times
and it's learned love isn't kind and has a high cost
And if I flinch when you get close, just know
Its clear, I was broken long ago
You ask why I pull away when things feel right
It's why I joke when you hold me tight at night
It's not that I don't feel what you do
I'm afraid I'll break our love in two
Every time you get too near
I drown in everything I fear
Not the loss — I'm used to pain
Hope is what brings the rain
I've built my walls out of what I've learned
Built from the "love" I thought I knew
So when you knock, I run and hide
I'm fine, locked deep in my mind
I wish you knew what quiet costs
How trust is a fixed coin toss
Peace feels like something's off
Always bracing for the end
The end I know will come again
If I push away, please stay near
I'm fighting my demons despite the fear
I want your touch, I really do
I want to know what safe feels like with you
When I pull away, don't take it wrong
It's not your fault I don't feel strong
I'm trying hard to trust
And let my walls crumble to dust
You see me laugh, I'm hiding fear
A way to hide the hurt and tears
You feel absence, I feel safe
I hide from what I deeply crave
You whisper love, I hear goodbye
I brace before you even try
I test your love to prove it's real
if the hurt is what I'll feel
If I push too hard, just let it be
Don't try to fix or stop the rain
Just sit beside the storm awhile
Know in my heart that means the world to me
So if I pull away, don't run
I'm learning how to love you, hun
Not the love that burns too bright
But that love that stays through the darkest of nights
When I pull away, don't take it wrong
It's not your fault I don't feel strong
I'm trying hard to trust
And let my walls crumble to dust
I never meant to make you doubt
I don't want to claw my way out
Every word I fail to say
I'm not asking you to go
If I pull away, please stay near
I'm learning now to lose my fear
I want your touch, I really do
I'm finding what feels safe with you
When I pull away, don't take it wrong
You've been my strength all along
I'm learning how to trust
And let my walls crumble to dust
One day, I know I'll believe
That love won't always leave
And how much we need us — even so
It's just the only way I know
It's the only way I know
…The only way I know
